Thursday, April 21, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Dear...
This is the first and last time I'll be venting about my ex bfs.. ex gf who I hope to god will take the time to read this because honestly I have no interest what so ever to deal with this girl anymore.
I brutally learned a pretty harsh but very humbling lesson this past year and that was that you can't convince everyone to love you. Sometimes no matter how hard you love someone even if it's everything you've ever wanted in your life, you can't always get it. And the absolute worst thing to do to yourself is to continue to convince yourself that a future is possible with that person. I'm not with "your man" anymore and haven't been with with him in a really long time, so I have no idea where you're getting these ideas that we're running off meeting somewhere in the United States when it's so obvious that I'm not with him. So really I am no threat to you or your family.
And on that note. I'm a very different person now. I live in a city where I have to fight and work really hard to be here and to live. NYC is really different than Hawaii and my priorities is not to be in love or steal your "bf". My priorities are to learn as much as I can and grow as an individual mature adult. I have no intentions to ruin a family. In fact, I really don't know any person who is cruel enough to purposely date someone to ruin a family. I mean you kind of drive me nuts, but I'm not going to ruin your life.
I'm saying this as nicely as possible that for the sake of you.. and you're sanity. Get over him. Once a long time ago I really was in love with .. him.. and it hurt so badly when I realized that I had to get over him to continue my own growth in life. And I really did at one time think that I could not live a life without him there. But.. I did it.. and.. it was a good thing to do.. and now that my head is clear I feel like so much has been lifted off my shoulders and it's so much easier to get through my days. It's been more than a year now.. and even if he is still with you like how you claim in your voicemails.. I know for a fact that he's not entirely with you.. so I think it's time to realize that you and your ex are done. You can live a perfectly fine life without him, and I believe it.
Lastly- please stop calling me. I work 3 jobs here in NYC on top of training at my dance studio. I don't even have time to hang out with my friends here let alone listen to you talk about your and my ex bf. Deal it out with him. Not me. Thanks.
I brutally learned a pretty harsh but very humbling lesson this past year and that was that you can't convince everyone to love you. Sometimes no matter how hard you love someone even if it's everything you've ever wanted in your life, you can't always get it. And the absolute worst thing to do to yourself is to continue to convince yourself that a future is possible with that person. I'm not with "your man" anymore and haven't been with with him in a really long time, so I have no idea where you're getting these ideas that we're running off meeting somewhere in the United States when it's so obvious that I'm not with him. So really I am no threat to you or your family.
And on that note. I'm a very different person now. I live in a city where I have to fight and work really hard to be here and to live. NYC is really different than Hawaii and my priorities is not to be in love or steal your "bf". My priorities are to learn as much as I can and grow as an individual mature adult. I have no intentions to ruin a family. In fact, I really don't know any person who is cruel enough to purposely date someone to ruin a family. I mean you kind of drive me nuts, but I'm not going to ruin your life.
I'm saying this as nicely as possible that for the sake of you.. and you're sanity. Get over him. Once a long time ago I really was in love with .. him.. and it hurt so badly when I realized that I had to get over him to continue my own growth in life. And I really did at one time think that I could not live a life without him there. But.. I did it.. and.. it was a good thing to do.. and now that my head is clear I feel like so much has been lifted off my shoulders and it's so much easier to get through my days. It's been more than a year now.. and even if he is still with you like how you claim in your voicemails.. I know for a fact that he's not entirely with you.. so I think it's time to realize that you and your ex are done. You can live a perfectly fine life without him, and I believe it.
Lastly- please stop calling me. I work 3 jobs here in NYC on top of training at my dance studio. I don't even have time to hang out with my friends here let alone listen to you talk about your and my ex bf. Deal it out with him. Not me. Thanks.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Hey There
I'm just gonna put it out there because you deserve better and you really need to know.
He's cheating on you.
And if you think you're an exception.
You're not.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
He's cheating on you.
And if you think you're an exception.
You're not.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Yes I've Become That Girl
Since my singleness and my crash and burn into depression followed by me picking myself up and forcing myself to go on with life, I've come to one conclusion.
Boys suck.
Now.. at the age of 24 I finally realize that there truly is a difference between a boy and a man. Boys.. have a very false grasp on life. They run around usually trying to be someone they're not and most of the time it's because frankly.. they don't know what they want. They love to do things they know they can get away with and worst of all they do things without any regard to consequences or people's feelings.
And can I just put it out there that I thought by the age of 24 I would be done dealing with boys, but apparently there's still a lot of mid-late 20s boys who are total late bloomers causing havoc on poor innocent women who just don't know better because they follow their heart instead of their mind. I'd like to blame it on the way we're wired or some kind of weird chemical imbalance..
I think I'm gonna need a yoga class tomorrow. This is stupid.
Boys suck.
Now.. at the age of 24 I finally realize that there truly is a difference between a boy and a man. Boys.. have a very false grasp on life. They run around usually trying to be someone they're not and most of the time it's because frankly.. they don't know what they want. They love to do things they know they can get away with and worst of all they do things without any regard to consequences or people's feelings.
And can I just put it out there that I thought by the age of 24 I would be done dealing with boys, but apparently there's still a lot of mid-late 20s boys who are total late bloomers causing havoc on poor innocent women who just don't know better because they follow their heart instead of their mind. I'd like to blame it on the way we're wired or some kind of weird chemical imbalance..
I think I'm gonna need a yoga class tomorrow. This is stupid.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
“Mix me with violence, blend me with peace, combine me with hate and I can't face defeat”
Hellloooo Harlem!! I never thought I was one of those people who are affected by the weather.. but once the weather started giving me beautiful 50/60 degree weather my days couldn't be better :). Oh New York what a love hate relationship.
So here I am.. again! One month later.. still not really knowing what's going on in my life.. but I've come to accept that it's an exciting journey and I just have to accept that maybe a clear finish line is not quite there but.. at least I feel like I'm heading in the right direction.. kinda.
Work.. it's work. It's busy. But I'm learning so much. My life as a "business professional" has changed so much from last year and I'm proud of the sacrifice and work that I've put in so far and I can only hope that it will pay off soon.
As of now I'm going back home to Hawaii in.. July.. and hopefully cross your fingers will be abroad by August. If not.. probably back to the NYC grind. Really I love this place. Like.. it's amazing. But. I miss home. I wish I could just take a weekend and go home and see my family and my friends and my dogs and relax on the beach and go to Maitais with my girls and jam out to Hawaiian music. That life seems so beautiful to me. Although life in NYC is exciting, and really fast pace, and so energetic. . I miss my home man!!
Soooooo yeah that's it. We'll see where life takes me. Same ole..
Single.. yes. Happy? Almost there. like 85%.. which is dangerously good considering 2 months ago I was crying my guts out from my heart break. Growing up, I was always super competitive (I blame gymnastics and Punahou).. so I think losing something that I loved very much was hard to accept. But when I'm feeling down, I think of other times in my life when I was down too and I realize that if I could make it out of those times then I can make it now. I would never wish on a person to feel heartbreak because the pain really is indescribable.. but I think in the end I can walk away a stronger person.
So here I am.. again! One month later.. still not really knowing what's going on in my life.. but I've come to accept that it's an exciting journey and I just have to accept that maybe a clear finish line is not quite there but.. at least I feel like I'm heading in the right direction.. kinda.
Work.. it's work. It's busy. But I'm learning so much. My life as a "business professional" has changed so much from last year and I'm proud of the sacrifice and work that I've put in so far and I can only hope that it will pay off soon.
As of now I'm going back home to Hawaii in.. July.. and hopefully cross your fingers will be abroad by August. If not.. probably back to the NYC grind. Really I love this place. Like.. it's amazing. But. I miss home. I wish I could just take a weekend and go home and see my family and my friends and my dogs and relax on the beach and go to Maitais with my girls and jam out to Hawaiian music. That life seems so beautiful to me. Although life in NYC is exciting, and really fast pace, and so energetic. . I miss my home man!!
Soooooo yeah that's it. We'll see where life takes me. Same ole..
Single.. yes. Happy? Almost there. like 85%.. which is dangerously good considering 2 months ago I was crying my guts out from my heart break. Growing up, I was always super competitive (I blame gymnastics and Punahou).. so I think losing something that I loved very much was hard to accept. But when I'm feeling down, I think of other times in my life when I was down too and I realize that if I could make it out of those times then I can make it now. I would never wish on a person to feel heartbreak because the pain really is indescribable.. but I think in the end I can walk away a stronger person.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Someone Like You.
Awww Adele so beautiful! I'm pretty sure she perfectly describes how I've been feeling this past month. What an inspiration :)
Monday, February 28, 2011
Hello Spring :)
I like how my page views have tripled since my blog has become private. Alright!!
Anyway- NYC is so beautiful in the Spring time. It's so nice to be able to walk around with only one layer of clothing on (still a thick layer.. but one nevertheless). And although- yes.. I forgot how much it sucks that for some reason the guys get girl crazy when it gets warmer outside so gotta turn up my Ipod music very high and pretend not to hear what they're saying about.. stuff.
BFF and fellow single lady Jamie has moved to the city and I'm so glad to have her back in my life. Although I rarely have time for friends :( :(.. I'm still glad that they're there. Especially Jamie because she has such a great positive outlook on life.. and on boys.. etc.
Today was my 2nd day off in .. forever and it was so nice to sleep in and take classes without worrying about work etc. It was so nice to relax after this insane week I had. Lots of interesting things may happen by the end of the year and I don't want to say it.. because I don't want to jinx myself.. but just saying.. great things are in store!!
For some reason I was having a downer start of the day .. which.. hasn't been happening very often (yay!) I was just sad about how much fun I used to have in the past (college days) and how.. although I love my life now.. I can never relive those days like how they used to be. And then the craziest thing happened. My dance teachers are all super professionals.. always choreographing for big names and seen on tv and performances literally all around the entire world. So they have books of choreography stored in their head. Usually we'll do the same routine a couple times.. then they'll move on to the next dance and that one will be lost in never never land. But for some reason.. my favorite teacher decided to redo one of her routines (JT My Love.. best song ever) that I learned 3 years ago. Back then that dance was one of the top 5 dances I've learned out of the thousands I learned that year.. and it's one of the few that I actually remember even now. It was so great to learn that routine over again.. and it gave me this great feeling of reminiscing myself as a little 19 year old Tasha learning dance on Broadway with so many hopes and dreams. I lost that spark.. and I'm slowly gaining it back. So spring it seems has colored my life perspective once again.
I guess it's true when you lose love.. you'll find it again somewhere else.
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