Hey There

I'm just gonna put it out there because you deserve better and you really need to know.

He's cheating on you.

And if you think you're an exception.

You're not.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Yes I've Become That Girl

Since my singleness and my crash and burn into depression followed by me picking myself up and forcing myself to go on with life, I've come to one conclusion.

Boys suck.

Now.. at the age of 24 I finally realize that there truly is a difference between a boy and a man. Boys.. have a very false grasp on life.  They run around usually trying to be someone they're not and most of the time it's because frankly.. they don't know what they want.  They love to do things they know they can get away with and worst of all they do things without any regard to consequences or people's feelings.

And can I just put it out there that I thought by the age of 24 I would be done dealing with boys, but apparently there's still a lot of mid-late 20s boys who are total late bloomers causing havoc on poor innocent women who just don't know better because they follow their heart instead of their mind. I'd like to blame it on the way we're wired or some kind of weird chemical imbalance..

I think I'm gonna need a yoga class tomorrow. This is stupid.

“Mix me with violence, blend me with peace, combine me with hate and I can't face defeat”

Hellloooo Harlem!! I never thought I was one of those people who are affected by the weather.. but once the weather started giving me beautiful 50/60 degree weather my days couldn't be better :). Oh New York what a love hate relationship.

So here I am.. again! One month later.. still not really knowing what's going on in my life.. but I've come to accept that it's an exciting journey and I just have to accept that maybe a clear finish line is not quite there but.. at least I feel like I'm heading in the right direction.. kinda.

Work.. it's work. It's busy. But I'm learning so much.  My life as a "business professional" has changed so much from last year and I'm proud of the sacrifice and work that I've put in so far and I can only hope that it will pay off soon.

As of now I'm going back home to Hawaii in.. July.. and hopefully cross your fingers will be abroad by August. If not.. probably back to the NYC grind.  Really I love this place. Like.. it's amazing. But. I miss home. I wish I could just take a weekend and go home and see my family and  my friends and my dogs and relax on the beach and go to Maitais with my girls and jam out to Hawaiian music.  That life seems so beautiful to me. Although life in NYC is exciting, and really fast pace, and so energetic. . I miss my home man!!

Soooooo yeah that's it. We'll see where life takes me. Same ole..

Single.. yes. Happy? Almost there. like 85%.. which is dangerously good considering 2 months ago I was crying my guts out from my heart break.  Growing up, I was always super competitive (I blame gymnastics and Punahou).. so I think losing something that I loved very much was hard to accept.  But when I'm feeling down, I think of other times in my life when I was down too and I realize that if I could make it out of those times then I can make it now.  I would never wish on a person to feel heartbreak because the pain really is indescribable.. but I think in the end I can walk away a stronger person.

Someone Like You.

Awww Adele so beautiful! I'm pretty sure she perfectly describes how I've been feeling this past month. What an inspiration :)

Hello Spring :)

I like how my page views have tripled since my blog has become private. Alright!!

Anyway- NYC is so beautiful in the Spring time. It's so nice to be able to walk around with only one layer of clothing on (still a thick layer.. but one nevertheless). And although- yes.. I forgot how much it sucks that for some reason the guys get girl crazy when it gets warmer outside so gotta turn up my Ipod music very high and pretend not to hear what they're saying about.. stuff.

BFF and fellow single lady Jamie has moved to the city and I'm so glad to have her back in my life. Although I rarely have time for friends :( :(.. I'm still glad that they're there. Especially Jamie because she has such a great positive outlook on life.. and on boys.. etc.

Today was my 2nd day off in .. forever and it was so nice to sleep in and take classes without worrying about work etc.  It was so nice to relax after this insane week I had.  Lots of interesting things may happen by the end of the year and I don't want to say it.. because I don't want to jinx myself.. but just saying.. great things are in store!!

For some reason I was having a downer start of the day .. which.. hasn't been happening very often (yay!) I was just sad about how much fun I used to have in the past (college days) and how.. although I love my life now.. I can never relive those days like how they used to be.  And then the craziest thing happened.  My dance teachers are all super professionals.. always choreographing for big names and seen on tv and performances literally all around the entire world.  So  they have books of choreography stored in their head.  Usually we'll do the same routine a couple times.. then they'll move on to the next dance and that one will be lost in never never land.  But for some reason.. my favorite teacher decided to redo one of her routines (JT My Love.. best song ever) that I learned 3 years ago.  Back then that dance was one of the top 5 dances I've learned out of the thousands I learned that year.. and it's one of the few that I actually remember even now.  It was so great to learn that routine over again.. and it gave me this great feeling of reminiscing myself as a little 19 year old Tasha learning dance on Broadway with so many hopes and dreams.  I lost that spark.. and I'm slowly gaining it back. So spring it seems has colored my life perspective once again.

I guess it's true when you lose love.. you'll find it again somewhere else.

For your info...

I contemplated for a long time if I should make my blog private or public because.. frankly.. I know there's a lot of haters out there who are automatically gonna assume things about me because.. of the person that I'm perceived to be. Normally I would tell myself that they don't know me so whatever they want to assume is fine.. but I just had an amazing discussion with my peers yesterday about first impressions and how you can't help but judge someone when you meet them.  But if you try to dig deeper, you may discover a true story behind that person.  I'm hoping that by making this blog public, people (as well as I) will begin to understand who Tasha is.. and why I am the way I am.

I'm pretty sure I know exactly who's probably super excited to have discovered my blog. (I get paid to work with social media.. I know more about networking than I really want to).  My message to this person is to be careful.. be smart.. but love hard.

Alright time to be a New Yorker.

Teaching Myself to Rebuild

The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your hearts longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.
I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even if its not pretty every day, and if you can source your life from The presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the sliver of the full moon, "Yes!"
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.
It doesn't interest me who you are and how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Oriah Mountain Dreamer, Indian Elder May 1994